So...big things in my life. Hm...the absolute biggest right now is that my little Emily girl started Kindergarten yesterday! Anyone who knows me well knows what a struggle this is for me. For one thing, Emily and I are so close and not having her with me all day is killing me. And even though I know they have to grow up...I'm not ready! I'm also completely conflicted about things with public school vs homeschooling, my role in raising her in Christ and my desire to be the biggest influence in her life up until adulthood. I'm scared of the world these days. I am passionate about bullying and the fight against that in schools (if my kids stay in school it may be something that I actively work towards eliminating or at least making better in their schools). Also, I'm so saddened by how many parents these days I hear talking about how anxious they are for their kids to get back in school, for summer to be over with, etc. Really?! I have had so many people tell me "I know it's hard on you now but there will come a time when you can't wait for your kids to go back to school after summer break" or whatever along those lines. I know that I can't predict the future, but I can tell you that no, I actually won't feel that way. My most important God gives roles are to be a wife and mommy. I will take my kids as much as I can get them. I WANT them in my presence as often as I can have them. Staying home with Emily these first 5 years of her life and now being home with Madelyn is SUCH a huge blessing that I have never taken for granted! Maybe part of this is because I was home schooled for much of my life. I always loved and liked my parents (except for a brief time at the beginning of our return to Nigeria, but that's a whole other story)...I know what is was like to grow up and enjoy family time. My sister was and still is my very best friend. Anyway, I want my kiddos to feel this way, too, and I know that contrary to popular belief...it is possible ;-) Now, please know that I AM NOT bashing anyone for how THEY feel. Yes, I think it's sad that parents don't treasure every moment they have with their kids, because they DO grow up so fast! BUT I know that life is busy in this day and age. I get it. I just think (some) people have lost sight of our role as parents and what all that entails. I want to be the main person raising my kids...not the school system, or the church Bible school teachers, etc. I want to be the greatest influence in my kid's lives...not their friends, or teachers, or TV, or their Bible school teachers. And when they're in school 7 hours a day, 5 days a week, for about 8 months a year, and then you add all the other activities and busyness of life...it just doesn't feel like there's enough left for ME. And that breaks my heart. So all of this has been weighing heavily on my heart lately. And since I've wanted to start writing again, this was a pretty darn good way to start! I may make posts sometimes that some of my dear friends find offensive. For that I'll go ahead and apologize. Haha I will try to stay away from anything too controversial, though. But I will also, as I always have with my writing, spill my heart and you will all get to see inside of me. You can enjoy it or not. Your choice! Oh, and I do have to add that my Emily has a wonderful teacher that I feel is going to be a blessing to her in her first year of school! Despite all of my mixed feelings about it all, I believe that Emily is where she's supposed to be right now. God will guide her through the year and I pray that she is able to be a good influence and blessing to her teachers and classmates. :-)
Madelyn and I plan on enjoying our time together, too. :-) And we will get our Emily with big 'ol smiles at the end of every day!
It's good to be back. Even if no one reads this...it was good to write it. I am back to doing something that I LOVE! Yay! ♥♥♥
I'll end with a picture of my big girl on her first day of school yesterday :-)
