Friday, August 10, 2012

Back to blogging... has been such a very long time since I wrote on here! I've thought about it a lot, though. I wish I'd been better about it these past couple of years. I have a lot in my head that I would like to write about. I've toyed with the idea of making an anonymous blog because I have things that I would LOVE to share my opinion on, but have people on both sides of things that could be hurt or offended so I can't do that on here. Lol I don't think I'll ever actually do it...but it's fun to think about!

So...big things in my life. Hm...the absolute biggest right now is that my little Emily girl started Kindergarten yesterday! Anyone who knows me well knows what a struggle this is for me. For one thing, Emily and I are so close and not having her with me all day is killing me. And even though I know they have to grow up...I'm not ready! I'm also completely conflicted about things with public school vs homeschooling, my role in raising her in Christ and my desire to be the biggest influence in her life up until adulthood. I'm scared of the world these days. I am passionate about bullying and the fight against that in schools (if my kids stay in school it may be something that I actively work towards eliminating or at least making better in their schools). Also, I'm so saddened by how many parents these days I hear talking about how anxious they are for their kids to get back in school, for summer to be over with, etc. Really?! I have had so many people tell me "I know it's hard on you now but there will come a time when you can't wait for your kids to go back to school after summer break" or whatever along those lines. I know that I can't predict the future, but I can tell you that no, I actually won't feel that way. My most important God gives roles are to be a wife and mommy. I will take my kids as much as I can get them. I WANT them in my presence as often as I can have them. Staying home with Emily these first 5 years of her life and now being home with Madelyn is SUCH a huge blessing that I have never taken for granted! Maybe part of this is because I was home schooled for much of my life. I always loved and liked my parents (except for a brief time at the beginning of our return to Nigeria, but that's a whole other story)...I know what is was like to grow up and enjoy family time. My sister was and still is my very best friend. Anyway, I want my kiddos to feel this way, too, and I know that contrary to popular is possible ;-) Now, please know that I AM NOT bashing anyone for how THEY feel. Yes, I think it's sad that parents don't treasure every moment they have with their kids, because they DO grow up so fast! BUT I know that life is busy in this day and age. I get it. I just think (some) people have lost sight of our role as parents and what all that entails. I want to be the main person raising my kids...not the school system, or the church Bible school teachers, etc. I want to be the greatest influence in my kid's lives...not their friends, or teachers, or TV, or their Bible school teachers. And when they're in school 7 hours a day, 5 days a week, for about 8 months a year, and then you add all the other activities and busyness of just doesn't feel like there's enough left for ME. And that breaks my heart. So all of this has been weighing heavily on my heart lately. And since I've wanted to start writing again, this was a pretty darn good way to start! I may make posts sometimes that some of my dear friends find offensive. For that I'll go ahead and apologize. Haha I will try to stay away from anything too controversial, though. But I will also, as I always have with my writing, spill my heart and you will all get to see inside of me. You can enjoy it or not. Your choice! Oh, and I do have to add that my Emily has a wonderful teacher that I feel is going to be a blessing to her in her first year of school! Despite all of my mixed feelings about it all, I believe that Emily is where she's supposed to be right now. God will guide her through the year and I pray that she is able to be a good influence and blessing to her teachers and classmates. :-)

Madelyn and I plan on enjoying our time together, too. :-) And we will get our Emily with big 'ol smiles at the end of every day!

It's good to be back. Even if no one reads was good to write it. I am back to doing something that I LOVE! Yay! ♥♥♥

I'll end with a picture of my big girl on her first day of school yesterday :-)


Nicole Hughes said...

Welcome back to blogging! Looking forward to following and seeing more from a fellow from TD :D

LouLou said...

Glad your back so I can stay caught up with you even though I'm so busy :)
I'm one of those moms excited for my 5 year old to start school, lol
I say that now we will see how the first day goes, I know I am going to be sad and miss her, eight hours is a long time to be away from her five days a week! Alexis and I bump heads a lot so I think her time away at school will actually bring us closer because when we are together 24/7 she gets so stubborn with me and I feel like I don't get throug to her the way I want too.

I want to make an impact on the bullying and fighting also! I hope you keep us up to date on your steps to that through your blog so we can share ideas and such.

Love you!
Laura Lou

Sara B said...

Glad Emily had a great first day! It is so hard letting them be with someone else all day. Last year Casey already had to deal with a little girl not liking her boots and then Casey didn't want to wear them. I just used it as a teachable moment to prepare her for future mean girls and to embrace who she is and what SHE likes. Hopefully our girls will be a light and good influence to others one day;)

Robin Lynn said...

Hey sweet girl! I am so happy to read this post and I love your complex heart ... God bless you as you use your writing talent. In all things, may God be glorified. You're a beauty!