Monday, December 22, 2008

Christmas blues...

So, this is only the second Christmas that I will have spent away from my family (the first was when I was pregnant with Emily), and I am not so happy about it! I look forward to and love this holiday every year. It's so much fun with my family! But just doesn't seem like that big of a deal. Not to mention the fact that Michael and I are SO broke that we aren't even getting presents for each other for Christmas day (we decided that after he gets paid and during the after-Christmas sales are going on, we'll get each other something). We've only gotten Emily a couple of gifts and I kinda feel bad about it, but I know she's getting things from others, and also she's too young to remember or care too much how much stuff she gets and from who.
And then there's the food...I always LOVE the food that we have with my family at Christmas (almost as much as our Thanksgiving food), and I'm just hoping that ours with Michael's family will be just as yummy!
I certainly plan on making the most of it all, and I'm sure it'll be a good time, but just not the same...I would really love to write more, but I feel like poop (nauseous again), and I honestly don't know what else to say. Please don't get me wrong! I love Michael's family, and I'm sure we'll have a good time, and me and baby will get plenty to eat, and Emily will get wonderful presents! I guess I'm just a little sad about being away from my family this year and missing all the fun and family love in NC! :-)
Hope all of yall's Christmas holidays are wonderful, and I love love love you all!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Keeping up with people's thoughts, their hearts, their days and experiences...but where are mine?

So, this blogging thing is great! 4 of my 5 bestest girlfriends have one now (and we'll get Jen to get one, too). I've also found an old friend or two that I'm able to take a peak into their lives and see what's going on. Everyone writes about things that are deep....what's going on in their hearts, or something they're experiencing spiritually...or, they may write about what they accomplished that day, or a funny story about their hubby or kids, or something that happened that upset them. So here's my thing. I honestly want to write more often, but I'll sit down and open the page to write a new post...and there's nothing. I don't do anything! I feel like crap half of the time (pregnancy stuff), I play with Emily, watch TV, browse Cafemom and Facebook...occasionally clean (these days when I'm not too nauseous to move around for awhile, or too exhausted after Emmy's in bed). Anyway, I feel like I don't have a life! I don't have any friends here, and I've lived here...two years now. I had a job for a little while but had to quit because of Michael's shift change. We go to our church and LOVE it, but haven't made any great friends and I hesitate to go to things during the week without Michael, not to mention, my van has something wrong that needs fixing (but we can't afford it) and the heater doesn't work in it...therefore I avoid driving as much as possible. I know that instead of complaining I should get out and do something about it, but it's hard! I also know that one reason I want to move to NC so bad is that I'd be closer to my oh-so-close family, my already established friendships, and that it would fill the void that I have for human interaction! Most of the time, I'm okay with not having friends...I'm not one for a bunch of "aquaintances" and it's hard to find someone that you just bond with and can have a deep and meaningful relationship with. I would love to have one good, solid friendship, though! Anyway...This is the best I have to write about. I used to write ALL the time. I was a good and creative writer, and I made many good friends just from sharing my thoughts and feelings (I used to be on a different blog several years ago). Oh, well. I love all of you that I am close to, and thank you for taking the time to read my ramblings.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Well, not surprisingly I'm not doing too great keeping up with this thing. But also, for weeks I've had nothing going on except for the fact that I've felt sick almost all the time! My pregnancy with Emily wasn't like this...maybe that means this one's a boy? Anyway, I'm 8 weeks and 6 days today. We've got a long way to go yet! But, I love being pregnant and can't wait to start having a baby belly (not just the lovely leftover fat I have and to feel the baby move! And actually, today is the third day in a row that I haven't had much nausea.
Emily already "reacts" to things associated with the baby. If we ask where the baby is she'll point to my tummy and she's say "hi" and "la you" (love you) and "baby"...also if we hold the ultrasound pictures up for her and ask where the baby is, she'll point to it on the picture (the tiny unidentifiable blob that it is). I know that she really doesn't get it, but it's cute...and I think that as the pregnancy goes on, with the age that she's at, when we get a little further down the road...she will get it.
I was going to write more, but its 11:30 p.m. and my brain is pooped. So, I'll save it for later. Night!