Exhaustion and Chaos and Fun (with pics to prove it!)...

I know I haven't written lately. I. Have. Been . Exhausted. I mean, that's totally normal in pregnancy, but throw in the fact that we've been so busy lately. And that I babysat a precious 6 week old Monday and Tuesday, plus my regular little guy on Tuesday as well, had to be up at 6:30 both of those days, with one or both of my girls still waking up in the night, feeling like I'm not getting anything done around the house...yeah. You get the point. 

Needless to say, I have a LOT to get done today! I haven't hardly been on the computer at all this week (so I'm making up for that right now). I talked to my mom one day but other than that haven't talked to anyone. I was in bed at 9:50 Monday night (that's early for me!), and have skipped my nightly bath/shaving time TWO nights already this week (rarely happens). 

I'm SO ready to move into the new house...I can't wait to have a place for all the things that I don't have a place for right now.

Oh! Over the weekend we FINALLY got to take the girls bowling. It was Emily's reward for getting her 10 stickers for "obeying and following instructions" at school. We had a good time, though it wasn't quite what Emily expected (her words)...the girl is used to being a pro at Wii bowling and couldn't even hold the real ball it was so heavy for her. Haha But she still enjoyed it!

Emily went hunting with her daddy yesterday and had a good time! Yay for daddy/daughter time...so precious. I'll leave you with a picture of her adorable face and then I need to get to cleaning, laundry, more cleaning, a shower, and...more cleaning.

Confessions of a SAHM.....

In the words of Usher, these are my confessions (I sang that as I typed it just fyi)...

~ Sometimes, I play on the computer for almost half the day, just do little things for my kids here and there, then do a quick 30 minute cleanup before the hubby gets home (of course I don't do this too often). Shhh...

~ I am the friggin' queen of 30 minute meals! Forget Rachael Ray! Only difference is, mine is for a few valid reasons...lack of money. I just can't afford to buy all the stuff it would take to make the meals that I would LOVE to make! Time. Who has hours everyday to cook? Not me. And then there's my kitchen. Not such a pleasant place. I want a light, airy, spacious kitchen to cook in...I don't have the counter space, a dishwasher, or the appliances to do what I'd like (I know that I could make due, but I don't wanna!). I love cooking, trying new things. I hope that someday we get to a place financially that I can indulge in making amazing, time consuming meals and goodies! I do have to say, though, most of my meals kick butt. They are pretty darn scrumptious.

~ Some days I stay in my pajamas. All. Day. Long. Actually, I guess that's not so true now that Emily started school. But I will come back home and take the jeans off and put those comfy Victoria's Secret pants right back on! What can I say? I like to be lazy comfortable! Hey, I still get shiz done.

~ I think having happy kids is more important that a perfect house. My mom taught me this. And I kinda live by it. Don't get me wrong...my house is clean, just not always in perfect order (who am I kidding, it's never in "perfect order"). 

~ I let me kids jump on the furniture. The couches, the beds, whatever...and they LOVE it! 

~ Sometimes, when my hubby is out of underwear and I know he'll expect to find some in his drawer but I haven't yet folder that laundry that's still sitting in the dryer getting all wrinkled, I'll get out of bed while he's in the shower, get a couple pairs out of the dryer, fold them and put them in his drawer then get back into bed...thus giving the illusion that laundry has been folded and put away. ;-) Good one, huh?

~ I L.O.V.E. vacuuming! I don't know what it is about it, but I truly enjoy doing it.

~ I'm letting my little girl sit and cut a bunch of paper as I type simply because it's keeping her entertained while I'm writing this. Hey, she's learning some mad cutting skills, too. Practice, people...this skill takes practice.

~ I am a memory hoarder. I am. SMH...I hang on to WAY too much stuff. But it's all sentimental! So far this year I have kept all of Emily's school work that she's brought home. *sigh* How will I decide what to throw away and what to keep? I throw away TONS of pictures and little things that my girls make for me...but I still have SO MUCH! Again, how will I decide what to throw away and what to keep forever? These are hard mommy decisions, people! Pictures. I have them from my childhood all the way up until now (though most of mine from recent years are now on the computer or my memory drive thingy). I can't throw those away! No way, no how. I have them from Nigeria, Bible camp, family trips...and I actually sit down and look through them every once in awhile. Ditto with home videos. From the time I was a kid in Nigeria, Bible camps, family trips and holidays, us just being us (my siblings and I were pretty weird kids), all the way up until I went to college. And again, I will go through phases where I watch them all (the girls like them, too). Memories are special. I treasure them. But at what point do I need to throw (or give) my favorite outfits that the girls wore as babies away? If I just had more space I could put these things in boxes and store them until I had an answer! Or until I just don't care anymore (IF that time ever comes). Anyway...I can get rid of purses and shoes and clothes and toys (unless they were my babies faves and then I hang on, silly right?), I could care less about "stuff". It the memories that I *ahem* hoard. Sheesh. I sound like a crazy woman!

Alrighty...the fun of cutting has worn off, the child is bored, and I need to step up and do the opposite of everything I just wrote in this post! We are about to do some laundry and clean (I do get to watch, for the second time, The Vampire Diaries on the computer while I fold..so that's some motivation for me). Oh, and just so ya know...I got dressed this morning and stayed dressed. So there! :-)

♥ Family ♥

So, with all of the trauma and drama that has been the start of Kindergarten, we decided to take a little trip to OKC (that's Oklahoma City for those of you who aren't Okies). We thought it would be good for Emily to have some cousin time and take her mind off school for a couple days. Also, it was my lovely sister-in-law's birthday yesterday! When we get together, there is ALWAYS good food, lots of card playing (Pitch is the name of the game...we never really stray from that), and just good 'ol family fun. Oh, and of course mixed with all that fun are all of those moments (memorable, at least) of the CRAZY that surrounds this family (hey, they're my in-laws so shhh). Saturday, we had an appointment to get some pictures taken of the kiddos. Now so far there are only 4 (kids, that is)...but you would think we had a whole slew of them! Most of the time at this photo shoot consisted of the adults making complete fools out of themselves, lots of bribing, and a few crying kids. Oh my, you would think we were in there torturing them! I don't think it helped that the photographer and her "helper" were...a little overwhelming, to say the least. Haha I mean, there's trying to entertain the kids, and then there's just scaring them more that they already are! And they were scared. I think we got like 3 pictures that had Emily in them and she had her arms crossed, head down, and a frown on her face. And yes, we bought some. That will be a memory worth looking back on. Ah...the joys of having SUPER shy kids! 

Let's see...OH! I got my hair did. My AMAZING sister-in-law Anna did a superb job on me. Here are the results :-)

I love the feeling of new hair! Haha I'm poor, so I don't get to do mine often. I mean, my husband makes me blonde. Yes, you read that right. He pulls it through a cap and gets in done! I hate admitting this, but I will...he does a pretty good job. BUT that doesn't mean that having a professional work their magic on my head ain't a goooood feeling.

Now, for a couple more pictures. I LOVE pictures! After the attempted photo shoot, we let the kids have some fun to relieve the stress. These two right here are just best buds already. It's adorable and I love their faces in this pic! My little Madelyn is just such a cut-up and I LOVE HER FACE!!! Lol The nephew is a handsome guy, too ;-)

We all got to go out WITHOUT THE KIDS on Saturday night. Dinner reservations at 8:45? If that's what it takes! We enjoyed some amazing food, delicious wine, and just good family time. It was so relaxing and something we all needed. Here we are, and please...ignore the crazy eyes! Kinda creeps me out but it's what we got. (WHY are my pics always so small on here?!)

We left our Maddie-girl behind in the city. She's getting to spend some one-on-one q-time with her LaLa (what the grand kids call her). I think this may be a first for her...hm (Maddie is her LaLa's shadow when she's around so they'll have a blast). Anyway, Emily and I watched a movie on the way home, and when she got bored with that she did what she does best and that is...photo shoot (of herself, of course)! Here is one that I took of her and her new pride and joy teddy bear, Cory. This is what my oldest stuffed animal (also a teddy bear) is named so it warms my heart that she wanted to name hers the same. *sniff*

 Have I mentioned yet how GORGEOUS I think my girls are? Yeah. I am a proud, proud momma. And btw...Emily did pretty darn good this morning when I took her to school. She slept through the night (yay!), ate a little bit for breakfast (it's the most important meal of the day, right?), and yes she cried but she sat in her chair as I left (normally her teacher has to pry her off me). I'm excited to pick her up and have some fun with my girl! 

Okay, I think I ended up just rambling in this post. But you know what? I'm okay with that! This was about family, and I did talk about family, right? We had a good weekend and that was so needed. Now, even though I have a few hours to myself and would like nothing more than to just sit here...I need to unpack, do dishes that were left over the weekend and then...maybe I will just sit here and do nothing after that. :-) Sounds like a plan to me!  

My HEART is against bullying!

So, as I was dabbling in The Dollhouse today (my favorite group on CM and some of my best cyber and real-life girlfriends ever)...there was a song posted that's sung by a couple of precious girls from YouTube. It touched my heart, and since I wanted to write in here today, and really couldn't think of anything...this opened the door to something that I'm very passionate about! But first, here's the video that inspired this subject.

I really, truly hope and pray that my girls have beautiful souls that just shine for others. I want them to be accepting of all of their peers (doesn't mean they have to be friends), and for them to be non-judgmental, to realize that we are all made different and unique and that really, the world would be pretty darn boring if we were all the same. I think it's important to me to teach my kids that even when we may not "approve" of another person's lifestyle or their choices...we still treat them with kindness and respect and equality. Everyone is free to make their own choices. Not just by this country, but by my God. It is not, nor will it ever be, my place to decide what should be for them (and I'm not saying that I or my kids or anyone else shouldn't have convictions or beliefs or opinions and stand for them). We will each be responsible for our choices. Yes, sometimes we'll have to deal with consequences of those choices from the law, or from the church, or from society...but really, every person will be judged by God at the end of this life. In school, my girls will see people who are labeled as jocks, preps, goths, geeks...there will be those snobby girls that make other girls feel like they are less than they are. There will be loners who immerse themselves in books or writing or music. There will be kids who like to party and drink and smoke pot. There will be goody-goody kids that claim to be (and quite possibly are) Christians, but who heap judgment on others. There will be those who truly are Jesus followers and lead others to Him. I hope that my girls fall somewhere in this group: good kids who know that they are God's children, who can look at anyone and wonder "what is their story?", who, when they see someone who seems lonely or hurt, they make an effort to reach out to them. I want my girls to KNOW who they are and what they stand for. I know the struggles that kids go through these days. It scares the crap outta me. I'm not totally sure yet how I can do my part in molding them to be what I hope for. I have a lot of ideas, but obviously there are no guarantees! I know that my example means a lot. I know that raising them in the love of Christ and His promises and showing them how to feel secure and confident in that will go a long way. Teaching them about self-esteem (a whole different issue), my openness and honesty with them, letting them be individuals and experience growth (sometimes this comes through our own mistakes)...all of these things will play a part. Gosh, there's just so much! This goes so deep. And I think I have gone in all different directions with my thoughts on this! For that I apologize (many interruptions from a certain 3 year old played a part in that). 

Now to get on with my day...all of those FUN things like cleaning, folding laundry, doing dishes, picking up. Oh the life of a mommy and wife! That makes me think of another subject I could write about! See? This writing thing is good for me. As I express my struggles in areas that I battle daily (my ability to keep my home more clean and organized, my marriage, my patience as a mommy, etc) I hope that writing it out and feeling obligated to show growth and change will, well...help me grow and change. So, let me get to it! Enjoy my ramblings and cluttered (like my house) thoughts. Haha They come out the same way as a my home looks....all over the place and just totally unorganized. :-)

Until next time.....

Back to blogging...

So...it has been such a very long time since I wrote on here! I've thought about it a lot, though. I wish I'd been better about it these past couple of years. I have a lot in my head that I would like to write about. I've toyed with the idea of making an anonymous blog because I have things that I would LOVE to share my opinion on, but have people on both sides of things that could be hurt or offended so I can't do that on here. Lol I don't think I'll ever actually do it...but it's fun to think about!

So...big things in my life. Hm...the absolute biggest right now is that my little Emily girl started Kindergarten yesterday! Anyone who knows me well knows what a struggle this is for me. For one thing, Emily and I are so close and not having her with me all day is killing me. And even though I know they have to grow up...I'm not ready! I'm also completely conflicted about things with public school vs homeschooling, my role in raising her in Christ and my desire to be the biggest influence in her life up until adulthood. I'm scared of the world these days. I am passionate about bullying and the fight against that in schools (if my kids stay in school it may be something that I actively work towards eliminating or at least making better in their schools). Also, I'm so saddened by how many parents these days I hear talking about how anxious they are for their kids to get back in school, for summer to be over with, etc. Really?! I have had so many people tell me "I know it's hard on you now but there will come a time when you can't wait for your kids to go back to school after summer break" or whatever along those lines. I know that I can't predict the future, but I can tell you that no, I actually won't feel that way. My most important God gives roles are to be a wife and mommy. I will take my kids as much as I can get them. I WANT them in my presence as often as I can have them. Staying home with Emily these first 5 years of her life and now being home with Madelyn is SUCH a huge blessing that I have never taken for granted! Maybe part of this is because I was home schooled for much of my life. I always loved and liked my parents (except for a brief time at the beginning of our return to Nigeria, but that's a whole other story)...I know what is was like to grow up and enjoy family time. My sister was and still is my very best friend. Anyway, I want my kiddos to feel this way, too, and I know that contrary to popular belief...it is possible ;-) Now, please know that I AM NOT bashing anyone for how THEY feel. Yes, I think it's sad that parents don't treasure every moment they have with their kids, because they DO grow up so fast! BUT I know that life is busy in this day and age. I get it. I just think (some) people have lost sight of our role as parents and what all that entails. I want to be the main person raising my kids...not the school system, or the church Bible school teachers, etc. I want to be the greatest influence in my kid's lives...not their friends, or teachers, or TV, or their Bible school teachers. And when they're in school 7 hours a day, 5 days a week, for about 8 months a year, and then you add all the other activities and busyness of life...it just doesn't feel like there's enough left for ME. And that breaks my heart. So all of this has been weighing heavily on my heart lately. And since I've wanted to start writing again, this was a pretty darn good way to start! I may make posts sometimes that some of my dear friends find offensive. For that I'll go ahead and apologize. Haha I will try to stay away from anything too controversial, though. But I will also, as I always have with my writing, spill my heart and you will all get to see inside of me. You can enjoy it or not. Your choice! Oh, and I do have to add that my Emily has a wonderful teacher that I feel is going to be a blessing to her in her first year of school! Despite all of my mixed feelings about it all, I believe that Emily is where she's supposed to be right now. God will guide her through the year and I pray that she is able to be a good influence and blessing to her teachers and classmates. :-)

Madelyn and I plan on enjoying our time together, too. :-) And we will get our Emily with big 'ol smiles at the end of every day!

It's good to be back. Even if no one reads this...it was good to write it. I am back to doing something that I LOVE! Yay! ♥♥♥

I'll end with a picture of my big girl on her first day of school yesterday :-)