I need...

...to update. And I will. Just not right now.

Catching up...

Well, I haven't written on here in awhile, but alot has happened in tha past couple of weeks. Most of it not so good. For one thing, Michael lost his job. Bad timing, but hopefully it's just God's will and things will work out (hopefully for us to move to NC, which I'll say more about in a minute). We have already applied for unemployment, food stamps, and depending on how things go for us in NC I'll apply for Medicaid either when we get back here, or there if we don't get insurance right away. Also, our water heater decided to leak all out into our hallway (carpet) and we had to spend quite a bit of money getting a brand new one...but we did save a couple hundred bucks by installing it ourselves. I say "we" but really I just held tools and the flashlight for Michael, haha. And then Michael's truck started acting up (we haven't been driving my van for several months 'cause something was wrong with it), so we had to take one of the vehicles in (we chose the van), and got it fixed (though not everything that was wrong) and that was another bunch of money. Thank God we'd just gotten our tax money back and so we did have money for all of this, although we'd had other plans for it. We were going to set aside enough for about 4 months of mortgage payments for when we went to NC after the baby was born to look for jobs and stuff. Well, that's out now, buuuttt...we're headed to NC on thursday for 3 weeks to job hunt, and of course spend time with my family. I/we are pretty excited about it, and hopeful that Michael will find a job while we're there. I'm excited about seeing the family and them getting to see my pregnant belly! Also, I'm just starting to feel the baby move from the outside, so they'll get to experience that. We find out on wednesday whether it's a boy or a girl and we're getting anxious! So, there are a couple of exciting things going on, and hopefully some good things will come out of all this. Oh, one more thing. Michael's grandma is close to passing away (could be tomorrow, could be several weeks). His mom is dealing with alot of emotions over it right now. She's here in town (from OKC), and will probably stay around until it happens. If we're in NC, Michael isn't planning on coming back for the funeral at this point, but we'll see what happens.
On to a happier note...Emily turned 2 on friday! We went to Chuck E Cheese and she had a blast, then on saturday we had a double birthday party for her and cousin Adi, who turned 3 today. I'll put a couple pics up, though a bunch are already on Facebook.
So, that's what's been going on around here! Sorry it's been awhile since an update, but no one's been writing on here much lately.

RF ~ I hate housework with a passion (esp laundry), but LOVE being a SAHM!

"Baby H"...

My little update is that we went to the Dr on wednesday and everything was good (but I've lost a couple more lbs). The baby's heart rate was 148. We have an ultrasound appt on the 25th of this month, and we can find out the sex then if we want to. We're still not totally sure, but we probably will. Also, we think that that will be the 3-D/4-D u/s and if so, we'll get to record that on DVD. So, anyway...things are pretty good and I'm feeling pretty good most of the time. I feel him/her moving around quite a bit so that's fun! Can't wait till I can feel him from the outside and Michael, Emily, and whoever else can, too!
Sorry I haven't been writing much lately...oh, well...neither has anyone else. ;-)

My turn...Random Facts (about me).

So, I'm really not sure what I'm going to be able to come up with here, but here goes:

~ I LOVE reading...have since I was a kid. I've read most of my books more than twice, some 3 or 4 times. I have one book that I read once I year (since I was a teen) called "The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle"...I love it, and don't think I've missed a year yet! Well, maybe one.

~ I wanted to be an astronaut when I grew up, but after that one blew up, Jessi and Jared cried when I told them I wanted to be one and begged me not to (don't know if they remember that or not). Lol

~ I take a bath pretty much EVERY night (and sometimes a shower in the morning)...know why? Because I have THE hairiest, grossest legs you've ever seen/felt and I hate going to bed prickly!

~ I miss Nigeria and want to go back SOOO badly!

~ I will probably always be a "bad girl" at heart, though I'm really good. Lol Faithful, honest, good mom, good wife, good friend, responsible...hm...

~ I married a redneck and I NEVER thought that would happen!

~ I have THE frizziest hair EVER and I hate it!

~ This is more fun than I thought it would be and may have to become either a weekly or monthly thing, or I may end up copying my sis and adding a RF (random fact) at the end of each of my posts...with her permission, of course. :-)

Sorry if these weren't very interesting! Oh, well...deal with it! ;-)

In-between this and that...

So...I'm 14w and 4d along today. I'm beginnning to feel like I'm stuck at an "in-between" time right now, because as I'm feeling less nauseous and less tired and all that good stuff, I'm also not consistently or strongly feeling baby movement, or seeing much belly growth (I actually feel like it may have shrunk a bit, as I've also lost weight). Anyway, I'm anxious for my Dr's appt on the 4th of next month. Ready to hear that heartbeat! I am excited that I've entered my 2nd trimester, though! So that's, like, 26 weeks to go. Crazy that in a month and a half I'll be halfway there! Anyway...

I just wanted to update, though I don't have much to say. Oh! So, its 64 degrees here right now. Michael and I took Emily to the park today, and that was fun! I'll put a few pictures on here to spice this post up a little bit! Love to all ...

Never enough...

So, do you ever feel like you're just never enough? Or you never do enough...
I do. I'm sometimes made to feel that way, and I also struggle with doing. I don't have a life here, outside of my home, therefore I'm not active in anything. And unfortunately I'm not good at doing enough around the house. I can't blame it all on pregnancy, because I struggled with it before I was pregnant (though I did have a colicky/acid refluxy baby for some months of that time). Anyway, I'm awful at cleaning, at organizing, at cooking on our totally off-whack schedule. I'll admit, the computer is a convenient and easy diversion, but it's also my lifeline. My mom tried to get me to become involved or at least use a website that helps women with cleaning (I couldn't get into it). Women on Cafemom play cleaning games (I'm not good at those). I've made lists and weekly schedules (that should be easy to keep, b/c I make them in a way so as to not overwhelm myself). I didn't follow it for long, at all!
I wouldn't normally consider myself a lazy person...my husband says that I "have it easy" compared to most women. And don't get me wrong, Michael and Emily and myself always have clean clothes, clean dishes...my house isn't nasty, just more...cluttered. I also cook at least several times a week, and I of course keep food in Em's belly and fix and take most of Michael's food to him on a plate. I did get out of the habit of cooking while I was nauseous all the time...I just couldn't do it most of the time. I pick up the living room before Michael gets home from work every night, and load the dishwasher then, and often cook or have something prepared for him when he gets home (at about 12:15a.m.).
Anyway, around here, whatever I do...it's never enough. So, what to do, what to do? Ah, well. I'm working on it, and I even pray about it. I guess I'll just have to keep putting forth the effort and praying, huh?
*Love*

2009 goals???

I'm not usually one for making New Year's resolutions. Most people, including myself, don't usually stick to them for long. I think I'm gonna list a few things that I would love to work on this year, but they don't come with any promises to anyone (including myself)!

~ Read my Bible! (I'm not gonna say daily, or even weekly, because at this point, my goal is just to start reading it again!)

~ Do better with keeping my house organized and picked up and just to NOT let the clutter build up!

~ To trust in God, step by step, and give Him control (and remember that He IS in control) of all things in my life.

~ To be a better wife to Michael. To be more patient, loving, doting, and to have more of a servant's heart towards him (does that make sense?). Also, maybe to be more trusting. My lack of trust in him takes a significant toll on me at times, and I hate it!

~ To be a better mommy to Emily. To be more patient, more fun, a better example, more of a teacher...just better ('cause we can always be better!).

~ To take care of myself during this pregnancy and to have an amazing birth with NO drugs (not just no epidural), like I did with Emily, but hopefully my placenta cooperates this time! And to (hopefully) do well balancing pregnancy and Emily, and then Emily and Baby H.

Um...I think I'll leave it at that. That's really all I can think of right now, anyway. It still feels kinda silly to write it all down, as I've done it before! But, there it is...hopefully I CAN and WILL do better! *love*

Fun times at Christmas...

So, we ended up having a great Christmas and I thoroughly enjoyed it (considering my previous skepticism). Emily got TONS of new toys (which was great 'cause she didn't really have any "age appropriate" ones). I got a few good things (Michael's mom gave me some maternity shirts and a candle thing and a new toaster oven). Michael's dad gave all of us kids money, which is always nice to have, right?! :-) All of us kids did couple's game exchanging. We had lots of fun playing games and there was good food, too! I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't made my home-made gravy, though (they use fake stuff or cream of chicken soup, in this case)! Anyway, it was all yummy!!! Some of Em's new toys include a kitchen play thing (which had a million pieces to put together!), a new bicycle that Michael and I *ahem* I mean...Santa got her, a little kids karaoke thing, a fishtank and a couple of fish, puzzles, baby dollls, and more! She LOVED opening presents and was adorable doing it! We didn't get many pictures (we did more filming). Emily also had a blast with Adi, and vice-versa. Over-all it was a great time!

After that (which took place in Sherwood, AR at Rob and Rachel's), Emily and Adi went to OKC with LaLa (Michael's mom). Emily ended up being sick most of the time and I missed her terribly! They left on monday and I couldn't wait past thursday, so that's when Michael and I went (he missed her, too). Michael and I did get some good hubby/wife time in, though. We went out to eat and did some shopping and I got to sleep in THREE days in a row! It was amazing. So, thursday when we got to OKC we were there with LaLa, the girls and grandma Liz (LaReeca's mom) until saturday when Jim and Anna and Luke got there. (Rob and Rachel got there friday, I think.) It had been awhile since we'd seen Anna and Luke, and Anna's b'day was that saturday so we all went out to eat and then came home and had our little Christmas with Anna and Luke and then played games again. Fun, fun! We got back home on monday and it's back to real life again...

On another note, I have a Dr's appt tomorrow. My first one actually with my Dr since I found out I was pregnant. I guess it will just be a hear the heartbeat, measure the tummy deal...but I'm excited about it!

I guess that's it for now. I would put some pics up, but I'll have to figure out how to do that first! Love to all and have a blessed year!!!

(I figured it out.)

Christmas blues...

So, this is only the second Christmas that I will have spent away from my family (the first was when I was pregnant with Emily), and I am not so happy about it! I look forward to and love this holiday every year. It's so much fun with my family! But here...it just doesn't seem like that big of a deal. Not to mention the fact that Michael and I are SO broke that we aren't even getting presents for each other for Christmas day (we decided that after he gets paid and during the after-Christmas sales are going on, we'll get each other something). We've only gotten Emily a couple of gifts and I kinda feel bad about it, but I know she's getting things from others, and also she's too young to remember or care too much how much stuff she gets and from who.
And then there's the food...I always LOVE the food that we have with my family at Christmas (almost as much as our Thanksgiving food), and I'm just hoping that ours with Michael's family will be just as yummy!
I certainly plan on making the most of it all, and I'm sure it'll be a good time, but just not the same...I would really love to write more, but I feel like poop (nauseous again), and I honestly don't know what else to say. Please don't get me wrong! I love Michael's family, and I'm sure we'll have a good time, and me and baby will get plenty to eat, and Emily will get wonderful presents! I guess I'm just a little sad about being away from my family this year and missing all the fun and family love in NC! :-)
Hope all of yall's Christmas holidays are wonderful, and I love love love you all!
MERRY CHRISTMAS and BLESSINGS TO ALL!!!

Keeping up with people's thoughts, their hearts, their days and experiences...but where are mine?

So, this blogging thing is great! 4 of my 5 bestest girlfriends have one now (and we'll get Jen to get one, too). I've also found an old friend or two that I'm able to take a peak into their lives and see what's going on. Everyone writes about things that are deep....what's going on in their hearts, or something they're experiencing spiritually...or, they may write about what they accomplished that day, or a funny story about their hubby or kids, or something that happened that upset them. So here's my thing. I honestly want to write more often, but I'll sit down and open the page to write a new post...and there's nothing. I don't do anything! I feel like crap half of the time (pregnancy stuff), I play with Emily, watch TV, browse Cafemom and Facebook...occasionally clean (these days when I'm not too nauseous to move around for awhile, or too exhausted after Emmy's in bed). Anyway, I feel like I don't have a life! I don't have any friends here, and I've lived here...two years now. I had a job for a little while but had to quit because of Michael's shift change. We go to our church and LOVE it, but haven't made any great friends and I hesitate to go to things during the week without Michael, not to mention, my van has something wrong that needs fixing (but we can't afford it) and the heater doesn't work in it...therefore I avoid driving as much as possible. I know that instead of complaining I should get out and do something about it, but it's hard! I also know that one reason I want to move to NC so bad is that I'd be closer to my oh-so-close family, my already established friendships, and that it would fill the void that I have for human interaction! Most of the time, I'm okay with not having friends...I'm not one for a bunch of "aquaintances" and it's hard to find someone that you just bond with and can have a deep and meaningful relationship with. I would love to have one good, solid friendship, though! Anyway...This is the best I have to write about. I used to write ALL the time. I was a good and creative writer, and I made many good friends just from sharing my thoughts and feelings (I used to be on a different blog several years ago). Oh, well. I love all of you that I am close to, and thank you for taking the time to read my ramblings.